Lee-Anne Introduction:
 
There is a saying: “Lies are like rats—spot one, and there will be hundreds.”

This is the story of Lee-Anne, a woman who, through repeated lies, damaged the
bond between a father and daughter to stop a child from being with the parent she wanted to live with: her father.

Lee-Anne - The trail of destruction.

Lee-Anne met her partner while attending a tertiary college. Within a year, she left college and moved two hours away to be with him. During that time, she became pregnant. They had a daughter when Lee-Anne was 21 and he was 23 and later married. When their daughter was two, Lee-Anne decided to return to college to complete her studies. The family moved back to a small town so she could study full time while her husband worked to support them and pay her private tuition fees. Because Lee-Anne was studying full time and was often away from home, her husband cared for their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter most evenings and weekends. Wherever the father went on weekends, their daughter often went with him. 

Signs of Lee-Anne’s jealousy about the close father-daughter bond first appeared during this period. The marriage eventually broke down after Lee-Anne completed her education and graduated. She then moved to another country and took their daughter with her.

Wanting to stay close to his daughter, the distressed father followed a few months later. During weekend visits, handovers back to the mother were often difficult because the daughter wanted to remain with her father.

After about a year, the father began a new relationship. Sometime later, during a weekend visit, he introduced his girlfriend to his daughter, who was then almost four years old. At the end of the weekend, the daughter asked to take a photo of her father’s new girlfriend home with her. That evening, she excitedly showed the photo to Lee-Anne who at that time did not know there was a new partner on the scene.  That night marked the beginning of what became a deliberate and sustained effort to break the relationship between the father and daughter.

Within hours of her daughter showing Lee-Anne the photo of the father's new girlfriend, Lee-Anne contacted the police and made a serious allegation inferring that the father had sexually abused his daughter.  The police visited Lee-Anne and after listening to Lee-Anne and taking her statement, the police did not progress the matter any further. Lee-Anne then contacted a social worker and repeated her story, changing and adding to her story. This led to a five-month period with no contact between the father and daughter, causing significant distress to them both.
 
The father, who was living in a different city and unaware of what was happening, soon received a vague phone call from Lee-Anne. She accused him of something but did not explain what it was, then ended the call and refused to take further calls from him. Within a month, he moved closer so he could understand the issue and seek to restore access. He engaged a lawyer and eventually learned that Lee-Anne had made an allegation, although the exact nature of it remained unclear.

Assessments and Supervised Access
 
Over the next five or six months, Lee-Anne and her allegations came under intense scrutiny. Psychologists and counsellors were appointed to assess all parties, including the daughter. Supervised access was arranged every two weeks until the court appointed reports by specialists were available.

The Daughter speaks out.
 
During this period, the daughter contradicted her mother’s account on multiple occasions to multiple people.  She also repeatedly said that she hoped her mother would not go to jail, indicating she understood that what her mother was saying was not only not true but could have serious consequences for her.

After about 6 months and on her very first visit with her father, the daughter initiated a conversation where she asked her father whether he had hurt her. When he replied, “No,” she said, “I told Mummy you didn’t.”  This was a significant revelation.
 
The court directed a registered psychologist to assess Lee-Anne, the husband and the daughter in multiple settings.  In the resulting reports, the daughter when asked directly about Lee-Annes allegation said unequivocally that her father did not touch her.
 
Findings in the Reports
 
The reports also raised concerns about the daughter’s environment. They indicated that Lee-Anne had placed the daughter in a living situation that was inappropriate for a young female child, including long periods in childcare and regular babysitting by teenagers from the boarding college, often during evenings and weekends. The reports further noted that Lee-Anne had unresolved issues arising from her own alleged sexual abuse trauma, which affected her. Because of the findings from the assessments and reports, normal access was then reinstated, and for a short time things appeared to be going well. However, after the second weekend visit, another difficult handover occurred where the daughter wanted to stay with her dad which triggered another false allegation from Lee-Anne. This allegation was even more outrageous than the first, and access was again at risk of being denied. At this point, the lawyers involved, including Lee-Anne’s lawyer, became extremely concerned as the daughter’s mental health deteriorated due to the potential break in contact with her father.  The lawyers agreed that Lee-Anne was high risk for repeating what was obviously stories that were not true at any time and into the future.  The lawyers agreed that for the wellbeing and safety of the child custody should change to the father so instead of access being denied the lawyers urged the father to seek custody.  After multiple long counselling session with her own lawyer, Lee-Anne retracted her story in writing and admitted she was wrong and added that the father loved his daughter and would never hurt her.
 
As the father prepared to file a custody application in the local court, Lee-Anne called and asked to meet him at a shopping centre. In tears, she begged him not to take their daughter away. He agreed and withdrew the application, believing the lies would finally stop and that he could return to a normal life with access to his daughter.
 
Over the next 30 years, the father and daughter maintained a good relationship. They stayed in regular contact, saw each other whenever possible, and continued to show affection for one another. The daughter became part of her father’s family, where she valued having a stepmother, sister, and brother, especially as her mother had no other children.

In the years that followed, Lee-Anne’s behaviour remained inconsistent. She was sometimes warm and sometimes distant. A pattern developed: she was often cold toward her ex-partner when people from her circle were present, but warmer when they were not.

Things changed again when their now adult daughter became pregnant. As the lawyers had warned years earlier, Lee-Anne was at high risk of repeating allegations now proven to be untrue. At a meeting she initiated, she did so again, making a new and outrageous allegation intended to unsettle him and further put pressure on the father-daughter relationship. This time, the consequences were devastating: the relationship between the daughter, the father, and his family, including his adult daughter and adult son, was destroyed.

Background to Lee-Anne.
 
Lee-Anne’s background and upbringing provide important context for understanding the psychological harm that false allegations of sexual abuse can cause a young girl. 
 
Lee-Anne was an only child who, from the age of three, was denied the ongoing love, guidance, and support of her biological father. Lee-Anne’s parents separated when Lee-Anne was three. From that point, she had no further contact as a child with her biological father.
 
When Lee-Anne was seven, her mother remarried, giving Lee-Anne a stepfather. At the age of thirteen, Lee-Anne accused an adult male figure close to her of sexually abusing her.  From the psychological reports it appeared that Lee-Anne did not develop a significant relationship with her stepdad whilst growing up and as a result did not get to experience what a healthy loving father-daughter relationship should look like.  As an adult Lee-anne showed that she didn't understand the importance of this relationship for her own daughter's bond with her father. 
 
Conclusion and Advice
 
Doing nothing in situations like these can be the worst thing you can do for yourself and your child. Unfortunately, many people, both male and female, have historically shied away from allegations of this nature because of cost and feeling shame that is not theirs to carry.  Liars will often continue to lie, even when faced with indisputable evidence. Lying is one of the core tactics of gaslighting, a deliberate form of psychological abuse. If you are unsure what gaslighting behavior looks like, click HERE.  Stand up for you and your child, get access back though the legal system and keep hold of all your documents that way in the future if the other parent continues to lie you are able to hold them to account.