Introduction
 

There is a saying: “Lies are like rats—spot one, and there will be hundreds.”

This is the story of Lee-Anne Courtney, a woman who, through repeated lies, damaged the bond between a father and daughter to stop a child from the parent she wanted to be with: her father.

Lee-Anne and the “fabricated stories”

Lee-Anne met her partner while attending a religious tertiary college. Within a year, she chose to leave college and move to be with him as he lived 2 hours away. During that time, she became pregnant. They had a daughter together when Lee-Anne was 21 and he was 23, and they later married.

When their daughter was two, Lee-Anne wanted to return to college to complete her studies. The family moved back to a small town so she could attend college full time, while her husband worked to support the family and pay the private tuition fees. Because Lee-Anne was studying full time and was often away, her husband cared for their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter most weekends and evenings, unknown to her husband at the time lee-anne was also having an affair with his best friend. On weekends wherever the husband went, their daughter would often go with him.

Signs of Lee-Anne’s jealousy over the closeness of the father-daughter bond first appeared during this period. The marriage eventually broke down after Lee-Anne completed her education and graduated. She then moved to another country and took their daughter with her.

Wanting to remain close to his daughter, the distraught father followed a few months later. During weekend visits, handovers back to the mother were often difficult because the daughter wanted to be with her father.

After about a year, the father began a new relationship. Three months later, during a weekend visit he introduced his girlfriend to his daughter, who was then almost four years old. At the end of the weekend, the daughter asked to take a photo of her father’s new girlfriend home with her. That evening, she excitedly showed the photo to Lee-Anne.

This is the night that Lee-anne concocted a lie that created trauma to her daughter and started breaking down the father daughter bond. Within hours of the daughter showing Lee-Anne the photo of the new girlfriend, she called the police and made an outrageous allegation that implied the father had sexually abused his daughter. After listening to Lee-Anne the police took her statement and then did not progress the matter further. Lee-Anne then contacted a social worker, changing and adding to her story with more lies as her story to the police did not work. This marked the beginning of a prolonged period where there was no contact between the father and daughter that was traumatic to the daughter and father.

The father living in a different city and oblivious to what was going soon received a vague phone call from Lee-Anne. She accused him of something but did not explain what it was, then ended the call and would not take any phone calls from him. Within a month, he moved closer so he could understand the issue and seek to reinstate access. He engaged a lawyer and eventually learned that Lee-Anne had made an allegation, although the exact nature of it still remained unclear.
 

Assessment and Supervised Access
 

Over the next six months, Lee-Anne and her allegation came under intense scrutiny. Psychologists and counsellors were appointed to assess all parties, including the daughter. Until the reports were available, supervised access was arranged every two weeks.

Statements from the Daughter. During this period, the daughter’s statements to multiple people highlighted the fact that her mother’s story was not true. On the first supervised visit with her father, the daughter initiated a conversation where she asked her father whether he had hurt her. When he replied, “No,” she said, “I told Mummy you didn’t.”
 

The court directed a registered psychologist to assess Lee-Anne, the husband and the daughter. In the resulting reports, the daughter stated unequivocally that her father did not touch her. She had also said earlier that she hoped her mother would not go to jail, indicating the in-depth understanding that her mum was not telling the truth.

Findings in the Reports

The reports raised concerns about the daughter’s environment. They indicated that Lee-Anne had placed her in settings that were inappropriate for a child, including long periods in childcare and regular babysitting by teenagers from the boarding college, often during evenings and weekends. The reports further noted that Lee-Anne had unresolved issues arising from her own alleged sexual abuse trauma, which affected her perception of her partner and her relationship with her daughter. 

Because of the assessments and reports, normal access was then reinstated, and for a short time things appeared to be going well. However, after the second weekend visit, another difficult handover occurred where the daughter wanted to stay with her dad, After that visit Lee-Anne came up with another new story of sexual abuse. The story was equally outrageous than the first, and access was again at risk of being denied.  At this point, the lawyers involved, including Lee-Anne’s lawyer, became extremely concerned as the daughter’s mental health deteriorated due to the potential break in contact with her father.  The lawyers agreed that Lee-Anne was high risk for repeating unfounded stories in the future and agreed that something had to be done so instead of access being denied the lawyers urged the father to seek custody for the wellbeing of the child.

After multiple long counselling sessions with her own lawyer, Lee-Anne retracted her allegation in writing. She admitted she was wrong and added that the father loved his daughter and would never hurt her.  As the father prepared to file a custody order in the local court, Lee-Anne called the father and asked to meet him at a shopping centre. In tears, she pleaded with him not to take their daughter away from her. He agreed and dropped the custody application, believing the lying would finally stop and that life would return to normal with access to his daughter.

Over the next 35 years, the father and daughter maintained a relationship often expressing their love for each other.  However the damage caused by the mother was there, but the love between them remained.
 

In the years that followed, Lee-Anne’s behaviour remained inconsistent. At times she was warm; at other times she was distant. A pattern emerged: she was often cold toward her ex-husband when people from her circle were present, but warmer toward him when they were not. Things changed again when their daughter became pregnant. As the lawyers had warned years earlier, Lee-Anne would repeat unfounded stories but this time it was in front of others at a meeting Lee-Anne had initiated. This time, the consequences were devastating and as a result the relationship between the daughter and the father’s family was destroyed.
 

Background to this story.
 

Understanding Lee-Annes background is important, although there is never an excuse for lying.

Lee-Anne was an only child who was denied the chance to experience the love of her father. When she was child, Lee-Annes mother accused Lee-Annes father of sexual abusing Lee-anne and so lee-anne grew up not knowing her biological father after the age of 3. Her mother later remarried when Lee-anne was still not a teenager, giving Lee-Anne a stepfather. At the age of 13, Lee-Anne accused an adult male figure close to her of sexual abusing her.
 

Conclusion and Advice
 

Doing nothing in situations like these can be the worst thing you can do for yourself and your child. Unfortunately, many people, both male and female, have historically shied away from allegations of this nature because of cost and shame—despite that shame not being theirs to carry.
 

Liars will often continue to lie, even when faced with indisputable evidence. Lying is one of the core tactics of gaslighting, a deliberate form of psychological abuse. If you are unsure what gaslighting behaviour looks like, click HERE. Gaslighting is one of the key strategies of people that lie.
 

Stand up for you and your child, get access back to your child though the legal system and keep hold of all your documents that way in the future if the other parent continues to tell stories that aren’t true you are able to hold them to account.

This story can only be told because it is documented through the legal system.

Truth does matter and liars are bad people that have no ethics; they should be held to account.  People are only entitled to the reputation they deserve. Not holding liars account can have drastic effects on you, your children and your future grandchildren.

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